In the mood of Songzio: "I love the solitude of the crowd in the city"

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Source: http://news.yahoo.com/mood-songzio-love-solitude-crowd-city-163516632.html

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Enesco, LLC Completes Refinancing of its Senior Debt Facility with JPMorgan Chase; Agreement Will Provide Liquidity to Fuel Growth

ITASCA, Ill.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Thomas G. Bowles, CEO of Enesco, LLC (Enesco), the leading global designer, producer and marketer of branded giftware, home decor and plush toys, announced the completion of a new $82 million senior bank facility led by JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. This new facility, made possible by Enesco's strong financial performance in 2011 and 2012 year-to-date, will provide the company with more working capital flexibility and the liquidity to fuel future growth.

?Given the company's recent accomplishments, the timing was right to refinance?

"Given the company's recent accomplishments, the timing was right to refinance," Bowles said. "We are delighted with the financial flexibility this gives the company."

"The new credit facility is a tangible recognition of the progress made by our entire Enesco team and the success of the individual brands," Bowles continued. "This will allow the company to focus on growing the business, implementing our aggressive go-to-market strategies and leveraging opportunities in the marketplace."

Enesco is majority owned by Tinicum Capital Partners II, L.P., a private investment partnership based in New York. Tinicum Capital Partners has committed intensive financial and strategic resources to the business over the past five years.

"We have worked closely with the management team over the past several years, providing operational and strategic guidance," said Bob Kelly, a partner at Tinicum. "By building a strong team, creating market right, innovative products and nurturing the companies great brands, all the while controlling expenses, reducing inventories, enhancing margins and now adding this new credit facility, the company is on a solid footing for substantial future growth."

About Enesco

Enesco, LLC is a global leader in the giftware and home and garden d?cor industries serving more than 30,000 customers worldwide. Enesco's products include some of the world's most recognizable brands in its trading space including: Department 56 Villages, Gund Teddy Bears, Jim Shore's Disney Traditions, The Grinch, Disney, Peanuts, Dr. Seuss, Snowbabies, Possible Dreams, Sesame Street, Boyd's Bears, Ugly Dolls and many others. Enesco distributes its products to a wide variety of specialty card and gift retailers, home d?cor boutiques, department stores, as well as large national chains and direct mail retailers. For more information, visit www.Enesco.com.

Source: http://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20120629005796/en/Enesco-LLC-Completes-Refinancing-Senior-Debt-Facility

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Simple Real Estate Definitions : Right To Cancel

As part of the federal Truth-in-Lending Act, refinancing homeowners are granted a 3-day ?cooling off? period post-closing during which they retain the right to rescind, or ?cancel?, their recent refinance without penalty or cost.

The Right To Cancel is protection against surprises at closing and/or a change of heart. It?s also a safety valve for homeowners signing paperwork under duress. With 3 days to revisit and rethink the terms of a loan, a homeowner can maintain tighter control of his/her financial situation.?

If you ever have the wish (or need) to execute your right to rescind, be aware that the process is a formal one. The required steps must be completed on-time, and in order, or else your request will be invalid.

The process starts with a document labeled ?Right To Cancel?. It?s included in your closing package and lists the terms of a rescission in straight-forward language. Among the key points :

1. You have 3 business days during which to cancel your loan
2. When you cancel the refinance, the entire transaction is cancelled
3. You must submit your Right To Cancel in writing

?Business day? is defined by the government to be every day, save for Sundays and federal holidays. A loan that closes on a Monday, therefore, must be rescinded prior to Friday at 12:00 AM.

Typically, rescission requests are faxed to the settlement agent, notary, or title company assigned with the refinance. It?s good practice to ask for an acknowledgement of receipt as proof of delivery, too.

There are some refinances for which the Right to Cancel does not apply, however. This includes refinances linked to an investment property, and loans not collateralized by residential real estate. There are other conditions, too, that may supersede your right to rescind so be sure to ask your lender.

Source: http://www.shannonodom.com/2012/06/real-estate-definitions/right-to-rescind-cancel/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=right-to-rescind-cancel

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Bingo: The art of bingo - Gambling News Source

Played within the UK, the United States and beyond, the game of bingo is one which the vast majority of us will be familiar with. From humble beginnings to widespread popularity, the game has become an integral part of British culture and for UK residents there is no better pastime.

Read the rest >>

Thu, June 28th, 2012

Related Bingo News:

Interesting gambling information:

• Men and women tend to have different preferences in their gambling. Men are more likely to gamble in games such as blackjack and lotteries and women are more likely to engage in bingo and raffles.
• The first games that we would recognize as modern roulette were introduced in Paris casinos around the end of the 18th century. In the mid 19th century the single zero game was invented in France, this reduced the casino's edge thereby increasing the odds of the player.
• The second oldest casino hotel resort on the Las Vegas Strip was the Last Frontier and it opened in October of 1942. It had 105 guestrooms and the property was made to look like an old western town. The first casino hotel resort opened just 18 months earlier and was called El Rancho.
• Many casinos in Nevada were financed by mobsters. Most notable perhaps was Las Vegas' Flamingo which was opened in 1947 by Bugsy Siegel.

Source: http://www.gambling-news-source.com/2012/06/28/art-bingo-76445/

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Federer, Djokovic enter third round as women seeds exit

Six-time winner Roger Federer and defending champion Novak Djokovic cruised into the Wimbledon third round as the women's draw was blown wide open with the shock exits of three top seeds.

Federer enjoyed a trouble-free 6-1, 6-3, 6-2 win over Italy's Fabio Fognini in a regal performance witnessed by Britain's Prince Charles, who was making his first visit to the All England Club in more than 40 years.

The third-seeded Swiss took just 74 minutes to defeat Fognini, who even received a quick lesson in bowing from Federer before walking onto Centre Court where Charles was watching with his wife Camilla from the royal box.

Federer, chasing Pete Sampras's record of seven Wimbledon titles, fired 13 aces and 35 winners and has lost just nine games in his first two rounds.

"I'm very happy to have won and to be back on Centre Court. It's great to have that feeling and to see Charles and Camilla up there is just great for tennis," said Federer.

"We were told beforehand that they were coming and we were asked to bow. We said no problem."

Federer, who has lost in the quarter-finals for two years running, next faces France's Julien Benneteau for a place in the last 16.

World number one Djokovic defeated America's Ryan Harrison 6-4, 6-4, 6-4 under the Centre Court roof in a match which finished just before 10:00pm (2100 GMT).

The Serb next tackles either Czech 28th seed Radek Stepanek or Benjamin Becker of Germany.

"It was more difficult than the scoreline suggests. It was a great match and I was in trouble in the second set," said top seed Djokovic, who fought off six break points in the sixth game of the second set.

"But under the roof, the conditions were difficult and you had to adjust your movements."

Women's top seed Maria Sharapova was leading Bulgaria's Tsvetana Pironkova when bad light halted play on Court One. The Russian was 7-6 (7/3), 3-1 in her second round match.

Sharapova had recovered from 5-2 down to take the first set in a tie-break.

The bottom half of the women's draw opened up with fifth-seeded US Open champion Samantha Stosur and seventh-seeded Caroline Wozniacki both knocked out.

Stosur had not been past the third round in nine previous visits to the All England Club and that miserable sequence was extended with a 6-2, 0-6, 6-4 defeat against world number 72 Arantxa Rus of the Netherlands.

"This year I hated the grass a little bit less than in previous years," said Stosur, whose defeat meant that there are no Australian men or women in the third round for the first time since 1939.

"I still love playing at Wimbledon, but obviously it hasn't been my best tournament."

Tamira Paszek saved two match points to send Wozniacki crashing out in the first round under the Centre Court roof.

The 21-year-old Austrian, fresh from claiming the grasscourt title in Eastbourne at the weekend, prevailed in a three hour, 12-minute marathon to win the first round clash 5-7, 7-6 (7/4), 6-4.

Also making a second round exit for the second successive year was Chinese 11th seed Li Na, the 2011 French Open winner, who slumped to a 6-3, 6-4 defeat to Romania's Sorana Cirstea.

But there were no problems for third seed Agnieszka Radwanska of Poland who defeated Russia's Elena Vesnina, the first-round conqueror of Venus Williams, 6-2, 6-1.

Radwanska next meets Heather Watson who ended Britain's 10-year wait to have a woman in the third round by sweeping to a 6-1, 6-4 victory over America's Jamie Hampton.

Four-time Grand Slam title winner Kim Clijsters, playing her last Wimbledon before retirement, eased into the third round with a 6-3, 6-3 win over Andrea Hlavackova of the Czech Republic.

Italy's 10th seed Sara Errani, the French Open runner-up, needed just seven seconds to complete her 6-1, 6-3 first round win over American qualifier Coco Vandeweghe after the tie had been rained off Tuesday.

Errani had been on match point but on the resumption she didn't have to hit a ball as her opponent handed her victory with a double fault.

Also making progress was former world number one Ana Ivanovic, the 14th seed from Serbia, who defeated Spain's Maria Jose Martinez 6-3, 3-6, 6-3, and German 15th seed Sabine Lisicki.

Last year's semi-finalist Lisicki reached the third round, beating Serbia's Bojana Jovanovski 3-6, 6-2, 8-6.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/federer-cruises-wimbledon-third-round-133453817--ten.html

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Planning For Real Estate With Estate Planning | YodZiaN.CoM ...

Home
> Estate Plan Trusts > Planning For Real Estate With Estate Planning

One of the most important considerations you will need to make in regards to your real estate holdings and your estate includes tax planning. If not handled properly, your estate could end up getting hit with significant losses due to taxes after your demise. To protect yourself and your estate against this possibility, it?s important to plan for your real estate with estate planning.

First, it?s important to understand exactly what estate planning is and what it is not. Estate planning goes far beyond the simple drafting of a will. In essence, an estate is the total property, both real and personal, that is owned by an individual prior to distribution through a trust or a will. The act of planning your estate involves distribution of the real and personal property to your heirs, taking into consideration all the applicable laws, regulations and possible tax considerations.

The goal of estate planning is to preserve the most amount of your wealth possible for the intended beneficiaries; prior to your death. Due consideration of this must be entered into in order to avoid penalties related to certain Federal and State tax laws. Otherwise the property and wealth that you struggled to earn and obtain during your lifetime could easily be lost to the ravages of poor estate planning after your death instead of benefiting your heirs as you intended.

Wills and trusts are two instruments which are commonly used in estate planning. They have different purposes and very different outcomes, however. Wills are subject to probate court and if they are contested; the result can be a length and costly legal battle. In some cases, the majority of an estate has been whittled away the costs associated with a contested will. It is possible in some situations to avoid probate through the use of a trust and therefore avoid the risk of a long drawn out and expensive legal battle. A trust is used when property is held by one or more persons for the benefit of one or more other persons known as beneficiaries. The holder may be a separate trustee or a beneficiary. A trust is commonly used when there are minor children as heirs; although it could be used for other purposes. Other considerations to avoid possible negative tax impacts on you real estate include lifetime gifts and gifts made while you are still alive.

In some cases you may find that charitable gift contributions are a good way to go because you can take advantage of immediate tax savings as well as future tax savings. Under some circumstances you may be able to avoid the capital gains tax you would accrue if you sold a property as well as take an income tax charitable deduction for the property?s full market value when you use it to make an outright gift. Since the property will be removed from you estate, this will also provide future tax savings. Some individuals also choose to plan for their real estate by generating income through a charitable remainder in order to receive income either for life or during a specified term of years.

If you own real estate it is critical that you take care of it with carefully crafted estate planning early on. This can help you to anticipate economic changes without being hit with severe economic impacts later on.

Nicole Soltau is the President and Founder of CreditUnionRate.com.
The Leading Credit Union Directory.
Search, Find, Join.
http://CreditUnionRate.com

Written By : Nicole Soltau

Source: http://www.yodzian.com/html/content/planning-for-real-estate-with-estate-planning/

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commercial outdoor power equipment - Commercial Power ...

When used properly, commercial sprayers can help groundskeepers maintain their properties more efficiently. Sprayers can hold various solutions and chemicals to control pests, plant growth, bacteria and other elements that affect a property's landscaping. When solutions are applied with a sprayer wand, this ensures even application which can be regulated by the person using the equipment.

Solutions There is a variety of chemicals and solutions that can be applied to any property. The application of pesticides to destroy insects and molds or fungi on plants is important to properties where appearance and health of plant materials is paramount. For example, shrubbery that is chewed up by moths, insects and other bugs can be salvaged with organic and chemical applications. Spreading them evenly in specific areas can prevent an additional problem or save the plant from dying. Spraying grass, plants, trees or surfaces can also act as an inhibitor to keep insects such as ants or ticks from congregating and infesting an area. When using professional sprayers, groundskeepers should follow all regulations regarding pesticides and pesticide applications. The sprayer containers should be used for only one type of chemical and labeled accordingly. The container should also be cleaned regularly in between uses. This prevents any cross-contamination or chemical reactions which can cause safety risks and environmental hazards. When a solution is added to the sprayer, some models mark the tanks in metric measurements as well as standard gallons and pints to ensure the proper mixture.

Comfort Using professional sprayers for several hours at a time can be taxing. There are many features now available to make the user more comfortable. On backpack models, for example, the shoulder straps should have cushioned adjustable straps. Comfort grips on handles and ergonomic designs for handheld and backpack models also make the job easier.

Styles Commercial sprayers are available in two main styles, handheld or backpack. Like many types of commercial outdoor power equipment, many workers prefer to use a backpack. This evenly distributes the weight and prevents the user from getting blisters or hand cramps. Many backpacks have a support frame on the bottom that makes it easier to set down securely in an upright position when the applicator is taking a break to reload or to examine an area. For those with back problems or who have a lighter body weight, the handheld version is preferred. Handheld styles usually offer grips on the handles, which increases safety and makes it easier to maneuver the machine.

Keywords: commercial outdoor power equipment, commercial sprayers, professional sprayers

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APNewsBreak: 2 terror suspects arrested in London

LONDON (AP) ? London police have detained two British Muslim converts on suspicion of terror offenses Thursday, a U.K. security official told The Associated Press.

The official, who spoke only on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly, said it wasn't clear whether the arrests were related to the upcoming Olympic Games. Security is tight ahead of the London games, which begin on July 27.

"This doesn't appear to be a big investigation, but it's still early days," he said, downplaying the importance of the arrests.

Scotland Yard identified the men as an 18-year-old and a 32-year-old, but didn't give their names. The force said in a statement the pair was arrested early Thursday at separate addresses in east London.

A man who identified himself as a friend of the detainees identified the 18-year-old as Jamal ud-Din and said the older man was someone he knew only as "Zakariya."

Mizanur Rahman, 29, said the arrests "might have had something to do with the fact that they recently went canoeing" on the River Lee, a branch of which runs through the Olympic site in east London. He said the pair also recently went shooting with an air rifle in Essex, a largely suburban and rural county east of London.

Rahman said he saw nothing amiss with the activities. "It's just people trying to get into the Olympic spirit," he said, adding that he believed authorities would try "painting it as jihad training."

Rahman pointed the AP to what he said was a photograph of ud-Din. The picture showed a stocky, pale-faced man with a bushy red beard and it appeared to match a man who appeared last year in a YouTube video entitled "The Test of Allah by Jamal ud Deen."

The speaker on the video, who Rahman confirmed was ud-Din, expresses contempt for democracy and non-Muslims, admiration for Islamist firebrands including jailed Egyptian preacher Abu Hamza, and anger at the Danish cartoons which infamously caricatured Muhammad ? whom Muslims revere as a prophet.

At one point the speaker approvingly quotes someone he refers to only as "the sheikh."

"We're not like the Christians; if you slap us on the left cheek, we'll slap you back," he tells an unseen audience. "This is so true, brother. We're Muslims. We defend ourselves, brother."

Security services across Europe have long been alert to the activities of extremist Muslim converts.

Richard Reid, who tried to blow up a trans-Atlantic flight in 2001, was a convert. So, too, was Jermaine Lindsay, one of four suicide bombers in London's 2005 attacks. The coordinated bombings killed 52 people ? just one day after London won the bid for the Olympics. In 2010, two German converts to Islam and two Turkish men were convicted over a foiled plot to attack U.S. targets in Germany.

This week European security officials told the AP that they were tracking a Norwegian Muslim convert who had gone to Yemen for training and had since become "operational."

Intelligence officials say there has been an expected increase in chatter among extremist groups, but there are still no specific or credible threats targeting the Olympics. The terror level is labeled substantial, a notch below severe.

A substantial threat level indicates that an attack is a strong possibility.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/cae69a7523db45408eeb2b3a98c0c9c5/Article_2012-06-28-EU-Britain-Terrorism/id-954658de515c4a6891d06576355194ee

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Stanford engineers find work around for barriers to carbon nanotube computers

We've been waiting, rather patiently we might add, for carbon nanotubes to really start making a difference in our computing lives. That day has yet to pass, but researchers at Stanford are making good progress. Breakthroughs have been coming at a steady pace over the last several years, but there are still major obstacles. For one, aligning tubes end to end has proven practically impossible, and metallic carbon nanotubes (as opposed to semi conducting ones) wreak all sorts of havoc with circuits. (That wouldn't be an issue if there was a reliable way to produce only the semiconducting variety.) Rather than charge headlong into those challenges though, the Stanford team has figured out a way around modern limitations, without sacrificing much of the energy efficiency that makes carbon nanotubes so attractive. The team has found an "imperfection-immune" way of designing nanotube circuits that removes metallic contaminants and is unaffected by misaligned tubes. For more info, check out the PR after the break.

Continue reading Stanford engineers find work around for barriers to carbon nanotube computers

Stanford engineers find work around for barriers to carbon nanotube computers originally appeared on Engadget on Sat, 16 Jun 2012 01:38:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Paul backers seek state path to national impact (The Arizona Republic)

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edwin - See Results Right now By Following These Easy Self ...

To ensure that you to definitely assist oneself it is crucial that you will get the proper info for suitable self-help tactics. In this post you will see how to deal with how you feel and grow the individual you are planning to be. Make sure you continue to be beneficial through the process.

With regards to self improvement, be sure that you really know what selflessness is and you stay in a manner that you just take action into it. This is very important due to the fact you will only absolutely know oneself once you give yourself totally to many other people every single way possible.

Volunteering your time and efforts is a very daily life-altering practical experience. Hospitals, broth the kitchen, even community churches need volunteers for a lot of activities. Providing of the some time and yourself could make you sense required and assist other individuals as well. You may meet new people who definitely are all cooperating for any useful trigger.

Bear in mind there are actually frequently consequences to inaction. Whether or not we choose to pay out our monthly bills later or turn in the task for function two times past the due date, most often you will find unfavorable implications for the inaction. We might have to pay out a little monetary punishment around the costs, although the delayed task could indicate we have been approved up for the following campaign.

Many of us have took advantage of teachers and advisors. What would we now have accomplished with out them? This is only as real in personalized along with professional advancement. Our own growth positive aspects us even more whenever we may give it to others: teaching a team, leading a younger performer, or maybe as being a very good listener.

When you established self improvement targets, set them a little above the place you feel comfortable. It?s that extra 5% on the top of whatever you sense you can already achieve that can make the better individual. You?ll know how deep the properly of capacity is within you if you eventually attain this relatively unattainable aim.

Talk with individuals who motivate you. See what type of mantras that they comply with to boost their own personalized strengths as well as to operate on their own individual flaws. Use their techniques as rules and follow them by case in point. Take advantage of other people?s energy to increase your personal.

As you can see, personal development takes a custom-made strategy. The journey to self improvement will simply do well in the event you value your own worldview. By making use of the above tips and keeping yourself real to your private personality, it is possible to go ahead and take very first techniques to creating better practices and constructing a much stronger you1

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Teens Engineer a Way To Help Swazi Farmers

Shongwe, left, and Mahlalewa

Two teenagers from the southern African country of Swaziland have won Scientific American?s inaugural Science in Action award, part of the Google Science Fair. The prize is awarded to a project that addresses a social, environmental or health issue to make a practical difference in the lives of a group or community. This year?s winners are Sakhiwe Shongwe of Siteki and Bonkhe Mahlalela of Simunye, both 14. Their project explores an affordable way to provide hydroponics to poor subsistence farmers, enabling them to grow their crops and vegetables in very large quantities and within limited space without using soil. In addition to a $50,000 prize, Shongwe and Mahlalela will have access to a year?s mentorship and will travel to Google?s California headquarters in July to compete in the 13-to-14-year-old age category in the overall Google Science Fair. Here are excerpts from an interview conducted via e-mail with each winner before they knew they had won, by Scientific American?s Rachel Scheer.

Q. Why did you decide to enter the Google Science Fair?

Shongwe: After our science teacher told us about the Google Science Fair in class, I saw the GSF as an instrument and opportunity to showcase my science skills. Being born and raised in Swaziland, I have experienced the challenges that our country is facing. My work in many community development projects, through the mentorship of our teacher and environmental club patron teacher, stimulated me to ask questions. Visiting the GSF site for the first time in January 2012, the phrase that dominated my mind was ?Everybody has a question, what is yours?? I quickly wrote a few of my questions and that was the start of the project.

Mahlalela: At first it was just about helping my friend who has taken teacher?s advice to think big and take part in such activities such as the Google Science Fair. I felt the need to help myself, my family and the community at large. We then asked our teacher if this is a good idea. I remember our teacher saying,?Go for it boys, this is brilliant.? I never believed in myself but today Google Science Fair has built a very high self-esteem within me.

Q. How does your project impact the community you grew up in?

Shongwe: I believe that Swaziland neither needs the tons of food aid coming from western and eastern countries, nor complex strategies which the country cannot afford to solve low food productivity. Educating subsistence farmers is the key, and our experimental project has proven to be one of the best approaches. If we can empower Swazi subsistence farmers with such knowledge of simplified hydroponics, producing organic crops, one challenge, i.e. food shortage in the country, could be significantly reduced. Apart from each family having enough food, surplus crops could be sold to local markets reducing the high food price which are mainly a result of transportation cost of vegetables from South Africa. In addition, the project has positive environmental impacts as it promotes the use of Three R?s [reduce, reuse, recycle] and eliminates soil tilling which results in soil erosion.

Q. What does being recognized as a Science in Action Award finalist mean to you?

Shongwe: It means a lot as I have once considered being a scientist and this could be the start of it all. I see the Google Science Fair as a stage to prove to the community that I don?t have to be an elder within the community to offer help. And yes I cannot express my feelings enough not to mention how Swaziland could change for the better if I win the award. Even if it could not change the whole country, targeting Bonkhe?s community could make a difference, creating a self-sustainable community by developing the people.

Mahlalela: It lets me know that my age does not limit my abilities and that I can be as useful to the community as much as any other person. Being part of a solution in a local community even if we don?t win by the recognition is as important as wining the prize. I believe in myself today and know my time is now not sometime tomorrow when I am old and may not even having energy to solve our community problems.

Q. Who are your scientific inspirations and why?

Shongwe: My scientific inspirations are all the people and businesses which the community has at heart.? This includes my patron teachers, friends who helped me in my project, and business people who invest in community development.

Mahlalela: Albert Einstein and Stephen William Hawking are my scientific inspirations. I find it hard to believe how all their discoveries and contributions to our understanding about the universe is possible. I?m very passionate about physics and physical science. Space science and all the scientific theories and discoveries evolving each day inspire me most.

Q. What do you think was the most revolutionary invention of the past 100 years and why? What about the past 10 years?

Shongwe: I?ll focus on the past 10 years; I think it is the ARVs (antiretroviral drugs) because they save lives. One major challenge of Swaziland today is HIV/AIDS. Swaziland has more than 100,000 orphans (+/- 8.3% of the country?s population) due to HIV/AIDS death in just 10 years, this makes me think of ARV?s for Swaziland is the most revolutionary invention.

However I see every invention revolving around the introduction of computers, internet and software as substantial. Without these all other inventions could take much more time and effort to invent.

Mahlalela: For the past 100 years I think the communication devices and transportation equipment, such as the airplane, is the most revolutionary since it opened a gateway toward globalisation.

For the past 10 years I believe it?s ARVs since they saved a lot of people?s lives.

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For more on their project and to read about all the Google Science Fair finalists, click here.

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Verizon's Motorola Xoom finally gets Ice Cream Sandwich

OK, ladies and germs. It's finally happening. The Verizon Motorola Xoom is finally getting its update to Android 4.0.4 Ice Cream Sandwich. The list of changes for software build IMM76L is pretty impressive, and you'll want to hit the changelog link below for the full skinny.  But more important is that your Xoom finally is caught up on the upgrade path. Huzzah!

And don't forget to swing by the Xoom forums should you have questions. 

More: IMM76L changelog (pdf); image via sikpupi

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Judge Michele F. Lowrance: How to Prevent The Wedding Black And Blues: The Child You Had with Your Ex is Getting Married

The last time you saw your ex-husband, maybe you said to yourself: "I will see him in hell." Perhaps you thought of a milder version of distain: "I hope I never see him again as long as I live." But life has taken charge and you are staring down the barrel of your first, albeit forced reunion -- the child of your marriage is getting married.

With only three months until the wedding, thoughts race through your mind: "How could my child do this to me?" You wonder how many pounds you could shed, or if you had plastic surgery now, whether or not you'll still be bruised for the wedding. You wonder if you have gone from being the "hottie" he married with no pounds to hide to the matronly mother of the bride. And then there is the issue of how much cleavage to show, to show him what he is missing. You wonder if you can you dance with wild abandon while wearing Spanx and 4-inch heels. Your friends assure you that you are beautiful while at the same time offering to loan you money for a personal trainer.

Memories start flooding back; resentments which had been maintained at a slow simmer now are starting to reboil. You either go home and do fifty sit-ups, up your meds or go straight for the Little Debbie's. Will the new spouse look better than you? You hate her, she hates you, your child likes her, and you hate that. Your emotions are like a Cuisinart with the lid off. You wonder if everyone will know you are having a hard time. Isn't everyone watching you out of the corner of their eye? In your mind, you are no longer thinking of it as The Wedding but as The Dreading.

Above all, you are mad at yourself for being so self-centered. This is not your day after all, or is it? This day -- while fragile and consuming for you -- is not "your day." Although this is a happy time for your child, they are feeling fragile as well. One of their greatest stressors might be worrying about how you handle yourself at the event. Let's face it; a good karma divorce does not always occur. Seeing your ex from time to time at various events is bound to happen. Don't let your past history create a defining moment for your child's future.

Here are five tips to help ensure you and your child have a special day:

1. Make it all about the happy celebration for your child. It is his/her time to shine, walk down the aisle with confidence and know that the parents are here in a supportive way.

2. Your anger is an uninvited guest at the wedding. Anger is about as welcome as the grim reaper showing up with a measuring stick. This is a zero tolerance standard. Don't blow it even a little.

3. Make sure you have at least one friend or family member by your side. Ideally one that is supportive and not too honest if his new wife is pretty.

4. If you are feeling tearful about your own life, don't fight it; just hide those tears in the sentimental ones you are already shedding about your child's wedding.

5. Do not induce guilt when choices have to be made about things such as seating arrangements, invitations, or who is marching with him or her down the aisle. The greatest gift you can give your child is keeping him or her from experiencing a loyalty bind. If you have to, you can feel hurt later.

I have performed a lot of marriages for my friends who have been distressed mother of the brides and I can tell you that the impressions your ex comes away with in the end are not really about how you look. It is about your attitude and how well you have fared in life over the years. You and your former spouse have both gone through a lot. Your resilience is the measure he will judge you by. This is about acting with grace under pressure and never letting him see you sweat. He may not be missing your cleavage, but let him see what he missed as you evolved over the years.

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